


Going to a meeting

by LadyEkaterina



Series: The Meaning of Love [12]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Canon Gay Relationship, Family, Family Feels, Love, M/M, One Shot, References to Depression, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 03:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18563089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyEkaterina/pseuds/LadyEkaterina
Summary: Mickey has found a group for people with Bipolar and their loved ones - Ian doesn't want to go.





	Going to a meeting

Debbie came home to hear the shouting. She carried Frannie into the kitchen where Lip was sitting with his headphones on.   
“How long has that been going on?” She gestured up.   
Lip took the earbuds out. “A while.”  
“What’s going on?”  
“Mickey found a group. Like a support group, you know like AA but for people with Bipolar and their families. Ian doesn’t want to go. And it kinda went on from there.”

“I don’t need a fucking caretaker or 'group' Mick”  
“It’s not always about you for fuck’s sake!”  
“Fuck you!”

They heard footsteps run down the stairs and the door slam. A few minutes later Mickey appeared and took a case of beer out of the fridge.   
“I told you before.” said Debbie. “It doesn’t help.“  
“No, but it does numb you. A bit.” Mickey was angry, but he put most of the beer back and went and sat down.   
The afternoon was spent with Lip and Debbie tiptoeing around the dark cloud that had settled over Mickey’s head. Frannie’s bedtime came around and she reached out to Mickey. “Micki night night”. He bent down to give her a cuddle before Debbie put her to bed. 

He left for work shortly after and returned later still in a foul mood, and with a new bruised scrape on his knuckles. Debs had gone to bed already but Lip was still up.   
“Is he back?”  
“No. Sorry.”  
Mickey nodded.   
“Wall, human or other? ” Lip nodded to the hand.  
“Wall.”  
“Neosporin in the kitchen”  
“Thanks.”  
Mickey went from the kitchen back out to the front porch with a beer and his cigs. He sat on the steps and watched the sun came up, smoking a full pack of cigarettes.

Debbie and Frannie were on their way out.  
“Have you been here all night?”  
“Uh. Yeah.”  
She looked at his sad face “He’ll be home soon.” Frannie wrapped her arms around Mickey’s neck “Don’t be sad Micki” she said, kissing his cheek. He managed a smile at the small red headed child.   
"Thanks Frannie."

He walked into the house like a zombie. Lip took one look at him and poured him some coffee.  
"Thanks."   
Lip heard the front door close and decided he definitely had somewhere else to be. Grabbing his coat, he fled out the back. Ian walked into the living room. He looked smaller, somehow, hunched over. And he’d been crying.   
“Where have you been?” Mickey’s voice was low, trying not to crack.  
“Walking.”  
“Just walking?”   
Ian looked up into his husband's eyes and saw the pain and the dread there.   
“I went to see Monica.“  
“Your mom?”  
“Yeah. Look, Mickey, I know I take the meds and everything. But if I was to go to a group like that one, it would be admitting that I’ve really got bipolar. And that would mean I’m like Monica.“  
“But you’re nothing like her. Like you said, you’re taking the meds for a start. You're doing great”“  
“Yeah I am, Mick. I don’t want to go to a group where people can judge me. I don’t want to have to tell them what I’ve done. What I did. To you. It was bad enough telling Lip. ” He looked so sad sat there. Mickey joined him on the sofa and put his arm around Ian’s shoulders.”  
“Jesus! You’re freezing. Wait, you told Lip about..?” His voice trailed off. He didn’t even know what to call it. In his head it was "That horrible night"  
“Yeah - i hadn’t realised he didn’t know. I thought you might have told him..”  
“Not my story to tell. None of his fucking business anyway.” Mickey tried not to remember those times. The night he’d thought Ian was cheating on him and had come home to find that the truth was far far worse. 

Ian lay his head against Mickey and listened to his heart beat.   
“I didn’t ask to have bipolar” he said slightly sullenly.  
“Yeah well I didn’t ask to be this gorgeous but we all have our crosses."  
Ian laughed and looked up into his eyes   
“I’m sorry.”  
Mickey kissed the top of his head.   
“I know, Ian. And this really isn’t about you. It’s about me. I get scared, Ian. And I’d like to talk to some people who understand.”  
“You can talk to Lip or Debbie.”  
“It’s not the same and you know it.”  
Mickey took a deep breath. But he’d started now.   
“I can’t do this alone. I know you don’t like the idea, but I’m going to go to this group. Because I need help. I want to make sure I’m doing everything I can so that you ...so that we are OK. I’m terrified I’ll let you down, Ian. That you’ll need me and I won’t know what to do. So I’m going. You don’t have to come.“

Ian looked at him then, this man who had always comforted and supported him. This man who wasn’t afraid of anything, was afraid of letting HIM down. After everything he’d been through for Ian, Mickey still thought that was possible.  
“I’ll come along. It would probably be good to meet some other people with bipolar who aren’t Monica. Besides, I don’t want anyone thinking you’re available.”  
Mickey smiled at him. “How're you feeling?”  
“Wiped.”  
Me too. I was up all night waiting on your ginger ass.”  
“Sorry”  
Mickey nodded his forgiveness.  
“When are you in work”  
“Tomorrow. “  
“Me too. Come on then. Let’s go to bed.”  
“Oh?”  
“To sleep!”  
“Eventually...”


End file.
